Monday, January 29, 2007

And For The Rest of My Story......

All right, I'm going to try to attempt to tell you guys about my encounters with the crazies last week. Interestingly, they all happened on the set of Without A Trace. The first one, her name was Ming and she is from Hong Kong. Ming is about 5'1" and 100 pounds. She was such a busy body and cracking me up all day. This girl could not sit still!!! One minute I look up and she is on her knees on the floor, putting lip gloss on. The next time I look up she is eating a plate of food. Seconds later she is knitting a scarf!! I literally turned to get something out of my bag, and when I turned back around she was hemming a pair of pants she brought, complete with scissors, thread, everything. There was one moment when I was flipping through my folder, and I had some pictures in there. I noticed that Ming saw that I had some pictures, and looked as though she wanted to ask if she could see, but she didn't. I got called to go the set, so I put my folder under my chair and left. An hour or so later, me, another girl and Ming are all talking about the business, acting, etc., etc. The other girl brought up headshots, to which Ming blurted out to me that she had peeked at my pictures when I was gone! She said they were nice, and that was nice, but in my head, I'm thinking, "this little heffer went through my stuff!" I didn't really care, it was just funny to hear her say it in her thick accent and big cheesy smile. I'm not sure how funny this story is on paper. Maybe its one of those things where you just had to be there. Trust me, Ming is F-U-N-N-Y!

Moving on to the drunk..no...intoxicated girl on the set. This was so crazy. This girl was talking to some dude and she was saying some really erratic stuff, so I'm thinking, this girl is crazy! After she left, the guy goes, "Man, I think that girl is drunk!". I laughed, but then another girl standing next to us said the same thing. It was all starting to make sense. Earlier in the night, I was wondering why she looked like Courntey Love. I'm not kidding. Her hair was a MESS, and she had been putting lipstick on all night and it was all over her mouth. At one point during the night, she walked by me and I got the strongest whiff of alcohol....I actually think I got a light buzz from it, it was so strong. When did this girl go booze it up? She must've brought it with her and drank it all on the lunch break. CRAZY! I knew she had gone off the deep end when she walks up to one of the guys on the set and goes (in front of everybody), "Marcus, why haven't you been returning my voicemails? I've left you plenty and I know you got them!!". It was so funny. The dude didn't know what to do, so he flat out ignored her ass! I was ready to get out the popcorn.

Any lastly, we come to the drag queen. Yes......drag queen. He tried to play like he wasn't one, but here's how I figured it out. He was telling us about how he was in the movie I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry in which two firefighters pretend to be gay and get married, in order to get insurance benefits. So, for this movie they had a lot of scenes dealing with gay issues, including drag queen. So, this guy was telling us about how he was in this movie as a drag queen and that they (the wardrobe department) dressed him up like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz with a red wig and skirt so short you could basically see his "bits". He also bragged to us that they chose guys with the "best legs" for this scene. Whatever. What he DIDN'T realize, was that I remember when they were casting this movie, they specifically said they needed guys to dress in drag for a scene, but that you needed to have your OWN drag clothes!! HAHAHA So, he basically told us, indirectly, that he is a drag queen. Why I didn't call him out on this in front of everyone, I don't know. That's exactly something I would do. I must've been thinking how CRAZY he sounded. A little later on, someone asked how old I was and he chimed in and said he thought I was 19. I told them I was born in 1982 to which he replied, "Oh, I was smokin weed and having sex by then". Umm....did I really need to know that? But, the one quote that gave it all away was when he was looking at an Us Weekly Magazine and he says, "Mmm.....Mary Kate, blonde is not you color honey!".

And those are my encounters with the crazies this week. I think I've had better stories. Like I said, maybe you just had to be there. In other news, I got chosen to be in a student's short film where I (ironcially) play a young doctor. How crazy is that for my first film role. It's a very short film, a scene rather, that's like a minute long. But, there are 2 doctors discussing a comatose patient, and thus it is called Comatose. When it's done being put together, I'll get a DVD copy, so that should be interesting. At least I have something to add to my resume now!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing! My, what, erm, interesting people you meet!

The best crazy I ever met was the guy who pulled up next to me at a stoplight and opened his van door show me he had no pants on. (A drive-by flashing?) Except, it was Cleveland in the winter, you know? Way cold! So I giggled and pointed and told him to bring it back in the summer when it was more than an inch long. He's probably a serial killer now or something ...

Keep at it, Kris!

Kris said...

Eww Lin, thats gross.....but it's hilarious what you said to that guy. Where do these people come from?? Many people have told me they love my "crazy" stories. I didn't realize thay'd be such a big hit. Honestly, nothing has EVER been embellished. I couldn't if I tried!! LOL

Oh, and the drunk girl on the set looks EXACTLY like that Courntey Love pic. No joke!

Kris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Kris,
You are amazing! I am so proud of you! I'm going to hold you to your offer of taking me down the red carpet when you are the next McDreamy (other than just mine...) Keep it up!