Hollywood Is Full of Liars!

I got duped! A few posts ago I talked about a low budget feature I did that promised us IMDB credit. Well, doesn't look like it's going to happen. If so, it would have happened already. I should have know. Part of me did. But these people are so slick. I've heard stories of this happening before, but you get to a point as an actor when you get a little desperate. These people know this. They know that a person pursuing acting professionally does not like to be an extra. Low budget films don't pay extras anyway, so how do they get extras for their movies? They lie and tell actors that they'll get IMDB credit for it. As I said before, IMDB credit is a BIG thing, and when you're even a little desperate, you'll fall for these stupid lies. It's stupid, but a low budget movie doesn't have to follow the same set of SAG rules that a regular feature film would have to follow. Well, as they say, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." You can bet I won't fall for that again!

Now, a funny coincidence happend the other day. So, I've been getting a lot better at dealing with my enormous student loans and not being depressed about them. I started paying one off in July, and it's going well so far. One day I was thinking to myself how much I have to be thankful for in life, and how things COULD be a lot worse. I mean, both my parents are still alive and well, I'm healthy, I have friends and family who support my endeavors, and I am able to work. So, I told myself, I'm done with being stressed about my student loans (even though it is such a burden on my shoulders). There is nothing I can do about my debt, I just have to deal with it. I felt a lot better. The very next day I'm reading a magazine article about debt and tips on how to save money. It said things like, save a little each paycheck, have a money market account instead of a regular savings account, pay off credit cards first, etc. Every tip this article listed, I had already done, so I thought, "Wow, I'm really ahead of the game". Then I read a sentence that says, "In an Ohio State University survey, 25 percent of people admitted to losing sleep over debt-related stress." I had to laugh. It was so ironic that just the day before, I told myself I wasn't going to stress out about my debt, and more ironic that this came from Ohio State, the same place most of my debt comes from! Weird huh? I have to admit that, while I'm getting better at dealing with it, I do relapse sometimes. To the point where I get so scared or frustrated I start shaking. $80,000 is a big number for a 25 year old.

Positive quote:

"Money, money, money, manifest thyself here and now in rich abundance."

~Catherine Ponder, The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity

The idea behind this quote is that the mind is a powerful thing (which I fully believe). The book is filled with these little phrases, and the philosophy is that the mind can create whatever it wants, if it truly believes in something. So, you're supposed to take a quote, like the one above for example, and say it, silently or aloud, everyday, multiple times a day. This may seem kind of silly, but I thought to myself, what do I have to lose? It doesn't cost anything, there is almost no effort involved, I can do it anywhere, and no one has to know that I'm doing it or when I'm doing. Doesn't hurt to try, right?

I Always Freak Out Too Soon!

Ok, things have been a little hectic, but let me fill everyone in on why I was freaking out. Basically, the hotel that I work at is closing down for renovation, and we're all being laid off. They expect the renovation to take more than a year, so we all have to find new jobs. I initally started to get nervous because I remembered how long it took me to get a job back in march when I quit doing background work. I refuse to work in a restaurant, and I was really lucky to find this hotel job that would let me go on auditions any time they came up. I thought there was no way that I was going to find another nice hotel to work at, with equal or better pay that would give me the flexibility to go on my auditions. It was also difficult for me to find this job because I hadn't had any previous hotel experience.

Well, our hotel held a job fair for us last week, and some local hotels sent reps to come interview us. These weren't hotels like Days Inn or Best Western. They were other hotels like the Sofitel, The W Los Angeles, The Hyatt, etc. I had already applied and been hired at the Beverly Hilton (where they hold they Golden Globe Awards) at the beginning of August, but they wanted for the overnight shift and I wasn't going to do it. My fear was not that I wasn't going to get hired somewhere, but that I wasn't going to get hired somewhere that was actor friendly.

Lo and behold, the first hotel I interview with hires me on the spot. The director of human resources asked if I was in the entertainment business at all. I half way lied and said I thought about it, but not really. He then said to me that they believe in having a balance in life there and actually encourage people to pursue things like that. He even said that he just finished shooting a short film for a friend!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH OF A RELIEF THAT WAS TO HEAR?!?! Not having to be nervous to ask to go to an audition or feel bad for leaving for an hour or so. Relief!! I was really excited. There is another hotel that I interviewed at and am waiting to hear back from. It's a really nice one and I heard there are a lot of actors that work there too and they aren't too bad with it.

So, you see, everything worked out just fine. Why do I worry so much??? It's so stressful. I think it is the downside to being a perfectionist and a Type A personality. I have to have things go my way. Also, I think that by worrying a little (or being concerned about the future if you will), helps a person to better plan for the future and to think about everything thoroughly. I'd love to have a care in the world and let life take just take me, but I think I'd forget things and end up in some financial bind or something. Some worry is good, but I tend to overdo it, just like my mother!

Speaking of which, my mom is coming to visit this weekend for 4 days. It's her first time to L.A. so she wants to do all the tourtisty stuff. We'll take lots of pictures and post some on here and then everyone can meet my mom!

Many Changes Are Coming

It's really late right now, but I'm writing here because I've gotten so lazy it's kind of ridiculous. Yes, I've had a lot on my plate for the last month, but there really isn't a reason why I can't get on my computer and type if people want me to. I think it's great that people are asking me to post. I guess when I do write, it is still somewhat interesting.

Ok, first things first. A lot of changes are happening rigtht now and as soon as I move into my new apartment, hopefully everything will return to normal. I'm moving next week. I'm excited. I found some really cool roommates after a long and exhausting search. So nice to know there are normal people out there. Secondly, my car is still being repaired but it is completely being paid for, so that's good. They can take as long as they need though. I have saved SOOOO much freakin money in the last month on gas it's crazy. I mean, I know I have a gas guzzling Explorer, but I didn't realize it ate SO much gas. The Toyota Camry I'm driving now gets such great gas mileage. I mean, I have saved nearly $200 in the last month!!!! You know what that means. When my car is done being repaired, I am immediately going car shopping. Do you know what I could do with an extra $200 a month????? A bunch of new clothes first, and then paying back some student loans!!!

Another change that will be happening has to do with the people I call friends. Friends have been a rocky subject in my life for as long as I can remember, mainly being that I can't seem to keep them! I have no idea why either. I just go through them every couple of years and the way that these friendships end is the same way every time........they just stop talking to me. It's so weird. Of all the friends that I no longer am in contact with, I have not fallen out with a single one of them. Never a fight, argument, etc. etc. I know they say that some people are only meant to be in your life a short time, blah blah blah, but I don't think I have one friend that I can say, "we've been friends since we were kids". Honestly, it's something I take seriously because I've also never had a set group of friends that I hung out with on a regular basis. The friends that I have usually can't stand each other. Will I ever get this right? I don't like losing friends (I don't think anyone does), but I have friends right now who are doing the same things. For instance, I am busy. Very busy. I work 2 jobs, go on auditions and have been dealing with a lot of stuff over the last month. Yet, I find time to call my (few) friends to ask if they want to hang out for a bit or something. One just never responds, the other constantly has other plans with friends from work, etc. It's just really annoying and inconsiderate if you ask me. I mean, if one of my friends called to hang out and I had plans with other friends, I'd ask them if they wanted to come or try and make time for them, but that's just me. I thought that's what you're supposed to do. Don't get me wrong, I have new friends from my jobs, but that doesn't mean I want to lose the old ones. Obviously this topic angers me and I'm venting now, so I'll stop. Just had to get some thoughts out.

In other news, the dark clouds that have been hanging over me are starting to part, as I said before. I just can't wait for things to get back to normal. I get up, go to work, hang out maybe, go home. No more looking at apartments, no more meeting CRAZIES, no more having to deal with insurance companies. I just want get back to having fun. In the meantime, I am going to get into personal training at the gym I work at. I figure, why not put my medical knowledge to use, get paid a lot more, and NOT have to deal with the jackasses who like to cuss the front desk people out! haha I think it'll be fun to be a personal trainer because I am a bit of a health freak anyway, plus I'll have the potential to make enough money doing that, to where I won't have to have 2 jobs. But.......of course I would just love for the acting to take off, then I won't need a regular job period!

Well, I think I've gotten all the stuff I need off my chest for now. Here's the positive quote:

"The key to regaining your wonderful feeling of personal empowerment and control is to decide, right now, no matter how good or bad you are feeling, that you are going to do your best to make the best of it. Reach for the best feeling thought that you have access to right now, and as you do that again and again, in a short period of time you will find yourself in a very good-feeling place. That is just the way it works!"

--Esther and Jerry Hicks, Ask and it is Given

Oh, one more thing I forgot. For those of you that watch American Idol........you know the guy that Simon Cowell said looked like a bush baby??? Yeah, he and his friend checked into my hotel today, lol. I guess they are in town for the Idol finale!

4/21/2007 -- The Accident

As everyone knows, I've been crazy busy working 2 jobs and now I have this car accident to deal with. Let me just tell you the events of my day on April 21st, because the whole day was a complete disaster! So, my morning starts off at 5:30 am because I had to get up and be at work at 7 am. Everything is going as usual, I get in my car, turn on my CD. In order to get to my job, I have to drive through the famous Rodeo Drive Shopping District. I pass through there, and by this point I'm less that a half mile from the hotel, with one more traffic light to go through. Beyonce's "Crazy In Love" is playing on the stereo. I'm approaching the intersection; my light is green. It's about 6:50 am now and there are hardly any cars on the roads because it is Saturday morning. I get to the intersection and start to go through it, when out of the corner of my eye I see a huge white pick up truck barreling at me. I slam on my brakes, tires screeching, and the truck hits my left front bumper, spins my car 90 degrees, and then he swerves and hits a 3rd car. Has anyone seen those car insurance commercials where 2 people are driving in the car and they are hit by another car? It was just like that. It happened so fast. I couldn't believe it. I'd never experienced anything like it before. At this intersection was a gas station, so we all pulled in there.

The man in the truck jumps out and immediately starts apologizing saying he can't believe he just did that. I mean, he was nice and offered all his information, but I was pissed as you can imagine. I have never been in a car accident before. Luckily, I wasn't injured whatsoever thanks to my hefty Explorer. I noticed that this guy's truck was a company vehicle for a Termite Extermination company, and I said a silent, "Thank GOD!", because I knew the vehicle would be properly insured. So, we call the lazy ass Beverly Hills Police and they refuse to come to the scene because "there are no injuries". Now, does that make any sense at all??? Shouldn't the police come out regardless to determine who was at fault, and more importantly if anyone was drinking or driving under the influence?!?! I just couldn't believe they would not come out.

Anyways, we all exhange information and I find out 2 important things happened. The guy driving the truck told me that when he got to the intersection and saw me, he actually hit his accelerator because if he had hit his brakes, he would have collided right into my driver door and me! So, it was a combination of him accelerating and me braking, that prevented a much, much worse accident. After the info exhange, I head to work, late of course. My car was actually drivable, but it is really messed up. I'm an hour late for work, in a terrible mood, and then I find out that the hotel's boiler failed and the entire hotel is without hot water!! This means that for the remainder of my work day, I have to deal with angry hotel guests yelling at us at the front desk. I'm antsy and anxious all day, thinking about a million things including the fact that this guy could try and say that he was not at fault, since no police came out to make a report. I really prepared for the worst possible outcome, especially since he provided an expired insurance card when we exhange information.

After I get off work that very same day, I find out that my landlord is putting my apartment up for rent since I apparently have been subletting this whole time, even though I thought I was on the lease. In order to stay, I'd have to sign up as a new tenant (which means he would raise the rent) and find a good responsible roommate. I had one potential roommate submit and application, but the landlord didn't like the guy's credit history, so I think it is just easier if I move. Another headache I have to deal with. So, you would think that was it for my day. Not so fast. Later on that evening, I went to IHOP by myself because it is so good and I wanted to eat something that would bring up my spirits. After eating, I'm walking homes. I come to an intersection and patiently wait for the "Walk" sign to cross the street. After the signal changes, I begin to cross the street, and there are no cars needing to turn. All of a sudden some dumbass cab driver speeds around the corner and almost hits me. Like, he had to swerve to miss me!

That was my Saturday. Did I do some evil thing to deserve some bad karma or something? Did I defy death twice in one day?? This better not be some Final Destination type stuff. Defying death once is one thing, but constantly having to run from it, I don't need to deal with that. So, to end this blog on a good note........The Termite Company's insurance company just called me an hour ago and told me that the guy driving the truck accepted responsibility and that I am clear to make an appointment with a body shop to get my vehicle fixed and to get a rental car, all paid for by them. Now, of course I don't wish that anyone would get in a car accident, but I'm kinda glad he hit that other lady, because with our 2 stories, there is no way he could have tried to say it wasn't his fault. My car was much more damaged than hers anyway. So, that news put me in a good enough mood to finally type up this blog post before I go to work at the gym of course. I just can't wait until my car is totally fixed and I get my roommate/apartment situation all straightened out so everything can return to normal (which really means I can get back to dealing with my crazies because I have a lot of those stories building up, just waiting to be told, lol). Why does all the bad stuff have to happen all at once??? Geez.

I can't leave without the positive quote:

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat."

--Theodore Roosevelt

I chose this quote because, on top of everything that I just mentioned above, I seem to be going through a little dry spell in terms of my agent calling me and me getting auditions period. I'm just not getting as much as I was a few months ago. But I'm not giving up. I've come far enough, and accomplished enough in less than a year, that I think actually have a chance. I just need to be patient and persistent!

My Stress is Decreasing!!

Man, I finally got my computer back after it being in the shop for 2 weeks. Do you have any idea how much I've suffered without my internet??? I didn't realize my life depended on it so much. I've been going to the public library everyday to use their internet and they only let you have 1 fifteen minute session. I can't do anything with that!!

Anyways, the last week has been really stressful, and here's why:

1. My computer was gone and I had no internet.

2. I moved my stuff into my apt a week ago (July 8th). My room was so messy because that's just how it is when you move. I just get really stressed when I'm around disorganization, but it took my 4 days to clean my stuff up anyways.

3. The apartment!!! I've gotten used to it now. But the truth is, the building is more than 60 years old and there is no A/C. The temperature has been hitting near 90 everyday here and it is HOT in my room. It's not so hot that I'm dripping in sweat, but hot enough that my skin stays damp. I hate it. Next is the shower. It's TERRIBLE!! First of all, it has about 5 little sprays of water, with no pressure, and on top of that, they all shoot in different directions. It's bad. Not only that, when anyone in our building flushes a toilet or even turns on a faucet, or uses water period, the shower turns ice cold and slows down to a dribble. It's the worst, but I guess I have to make some sacrifices since I made it to L.A. and I'm loving it so far.

4. Parking!! I thought parking at OSU bad, but this is ridiculous. I got a $45 parking ticket within 3 days of moving into my place, and that was after the managers had gone over the parking rules in detail with me! They think it's crazy too though. They said that's how the city makes most of its money. I mean, you park, and have to sit there and read up to FOUR signs and make sure you're not violating any or all of them. I learned my lesson, read the signs more carefully. It was my first, and my last parking ticket (hopefully).

Those four things have been my major stressors thus far, but I'm getting used to it, so it's not as bad now. So, what have I done since I got here?? Not much. Other than going to the store or the mall or a bookstore to fill up my time, I haven't done much. I signed up for a commercial acting workshop, and that's pretty cool I guess. I also got my headshots taken today, so those will be posted somewhere sometime in the future. I did happen to see Ice-T and his wife the other day when I went to the Beverly Center (mall).

Oh, one thing about the temperature here that's crazy. I live on one of the Hollywood Hills that overlooks the city. On my side of the hill, it could be, let's say, 85 degrees. If I drive 15 minutes over the hill, into the valley, the temperature jumps to 98 degrees. I can see the thermometer in my car changing, going up like a degree every minute. It's crazy because the other side of the hill is only a mile or two away. And of course it stays in the upper 70's around the beaches.

Overall, I really like my new life here and just hope to like it more and more. Where I live, everything is walking distance. I'm a block south of Sunset blvd and a block north of Santa Monica blvd. So, the grocery, shops, cafes, etc. are all walking distance. And it's real lively at night. Just like a big city should be. I love it.

My cell phone number has changed, so if you didn't get my new number, let me know.

Factoids:

• cheapest regular unleaded gas I've seen: $3.06/gallon
• priciest regular unleaded gas I've seen: $3.65/gallon